Conducting Cues that Actually Dysregulate your Singers (and what to do Instead)

​What if your well-meaning conducting cues were actually making it harder for your singers to stay present, engaged, and emotionally safe?

It’s a tough question. But if we want to lead choirs in a way that supports not just sound but wellbeing, we need to talk about the subtle but powerful ways us conductors can inadvertently dysregulate the nervous systems of our singers - especially those who are neurodivergent, trauma-impacted, or dealing with stress and burnout.
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Let’s take a look at what nervous system dysregulation looks like in the rehearsal room, and how small, intentional shifts in your conducting style can create a more musically expressive and mentally-healthy choir environment.

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What is Dysregulation in the Choral Context?

​First, a quick definition.

Nervous system dysregulation signifies a state of imbalance between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.  In daily life, it can be caused by such factors as stress, trauma and illness, and if left untreated, can have a significant impact on your mental and physical wellbeing, and quality of life.

The person affected shifts out of their natural balance into either or hypoarousal: freeze, shutdown, zoning out, loss of voice or energy, or hyperarousal: fight/flight, high alert, tension, panic, overthinking (this is where I live with my PTSD).
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Common signs and symptoms of dysregulation include tension, irritability, difficulty regulating emotions, inability to focus and memory problems. These shifts can be quite quick (e.g. a sudden loud noise as a trigger), are often unconscious, and can be more pronounced in busy group settings.
 
In a choir rehearsal, this might look like:
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• Singers suddenly zoning out or “going through the motions”;
• Difficulty controlling the voice, i.e. blending or responding to expressive direction;
• Fatigue, shallow breathing, visible tension in the jaw, neck and body;
• Flat facial expression, no connection with you as a leader;
• Over-apologising for mistakes, jumping out of the way of other singers;
• Quiet sections being under-sung, or loud ones being forced (not being able to select the appropriate volume).
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And here’s the problem: these traits are often misinterpreted as a lack of skill, motivation, or focus. But what if they’re actually signs of nervous system overwhelm?

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Conducting Cues that can Trigger Dysregulation

​You might be surprised by how many common gestures or conducting habits have a dysregulating effect, especially for those with sensory sensitivity, anxiety, or trauma histories.

Here are five of the most common:

1. Overly Sharp or Jerky Movements
While clarity is important, excessively angular or aggressive gestures can trigger a startle response in some singers - especially in close proximity. This puts the body on high alert, making relaxed vocal production nearly impossible.
Try this instead: Soften your gestures. Imagine moving through water or giving cues with breath instead of muscle. Smooth, grounded motions help singers feel safe to respond with ease rather than vigilance.
 
2. Intense or Prolonged Eye Contact
We often hear that “connection” means looking singers directly in the eye, but for some, especially neurodivergent singers, this can feel overwhelming or invasive.
Try this instead: Soften your gaze. Scan the room. Allow singers to opt into eye contact rather than feel it’s expected. You can create connection through warmth and presence without over-focusing your stare.  There will always be a number of singers in your group who are happy to meet your eyes each time – take your comfort from them.
 
3. Non-Stop Corrections Without Regulation Time
A barrage of rapid-fire feedback - even if constructive - can feel like pressure, especially if singers haven’t had a moment to breathe, reset, or process your last instruction.
Try this instead: Build in regulation time. After a tricky passage, invite a collective exhale, a gentle stretch, or even a moment of silence. This resets the nervous system, allowing singers to stay engaged instead of bracing for the next sharp correction.  Do one of your choir’s favourite breathing exercises so that the act feels more familiar.
 
4. Confusing, Contradictory or Unclear Gestures
If your conducting style frequently changes shape, lacks grounding, or contradicts the musical intention, it can leave singers feeling unsure, self-conscious, and cognitively overloaded.  And this can equal unsafe.
Try this instead: Anchor your cues in clear emotional intention. Simplify where possible. Rehearse expressive gestures with your singers so they feel part of the shared language, not passive recipients of mixed signals.  And if in doubt, do a session where you explain your most common gestures (maybe even give out a cheat sheet!).
 
5. Power Over Posture or Tone
Standing with elevated authority - arms crossed, voice clipped, energy sharp - can trigger freeze or collapse in singers who’ve experienced authoritarian or shaming teaching styles (and we all have singers who experienced this at school!).  Think about your body language and facial expressions as you address the choir.
Try this instead: Adopt a co-regulatory stance. Relax your shoulders. Smile. Model vocal warmth and nervous system regulation through your posture and presence. Let your authority come from clarity, not control.

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Why This Matters: Singing Is a Full-Body, Nervous-System Act
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When we conduct, we’re not just giving musical instructions, we are shaping the emotional climate of the room.  As a choral leader, you already know how you can shift the mood from tension at the start of a rehearsal to relaxation at the end.  But rather than using this skill in relation to what output you’re receiving from your singers, try thinking about it from their point of view.  How are they feeling in the room?  What are they getting from you?

Singing is deeply embodied. It requires:

• Open, unguarded breath that is steady and reliable;
• Safety in vulnerability (making mistakes, sharing emotions);
• Connection without fear of judgment (from you or other singers);
• Trust in the body and voice (and the rest of the group).
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So, if a conductor’s cues make the body tense, the breath shallow, or the face frozen, you’ve lost access to the very thing you’re trying to cultivate: authentic performance.

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What to do Instead:
Regulate first, then​ lead

​Here are some practical steps to move from being a potentially dysregulating conductor to a co-regulating one (where you help them manage their emotions and behaviours):

✅ Build Rituals of Regulation Into Rehearsal
Start with 2 minutes of grounding breath or vocal play. End with a collective hum or vocal sigh. Create moments where singers can recalibrate their nervous systems.

✅ Co-Regulate Through Your Body Language
Let your nervous system lead the rest of the group. If you’re rushing, tense, or distracted, it communicates to your choir and they mirror that energy. Try softening your gaze, relaxing your jaw, and breathing with the singers - not just at them.  You’ll get more done by slowing down!

✅ Use Your Voice as a Tool of Safety
Drop your tone slightly. Speak slower and with warmth and clarity. Avoid sudden loud interjections, putdowns or sarcastic corrections. Your vocal tone is as much a cue as your hands.
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✅ Rehearse Expressive Conducting Together
Don’t just assume your gestures are being interpreted how you intend. Use a warmup to co-create your “gesture dictionary” with the group. Ask: What does this feel like? How does this affect your voice? Do you understand what I’m asking right now?
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✅ Prioritise Psychological Safety
Make it okay to get things wrong. Celebrate vocal risks. Name the moments when someone tries something new - even if it isn’t perfect (and definitely own up if you make a mistake). This makes the room feel safe, and safety breeds joyful sound.

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The Future of Choral Conducting is Regulation

​This is not about dumbing things down or abandoning musical excellence – in fact, it’s quite the opposite!

It’s about creating environments where singers can actually access their full instrument, where the breath is free, the nervous system is settled, and the emotional intention of the music can come through without interference.
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The conductor of the future isn’t just a technician, they’re a facilitator of safety, presence, and power. And that starts with knowing that your cues matter - not just musically, but physiologically, psychologically, and for everybody in that room.

> Ready to Rethink Your Rehearsal Space?
Let’s build choirs where sound and safety go hand in hand—and where every singer gets to feel heard, held, and free to fully express.
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Drop a comment if this resonates with you and tell me how YOUR choir is mentally healthy.