How to stop overthinking every word you say

9/6/2025

If you’re reading this, you probably know the feeling all too well: that internal loop in your head, playing every sentence you’re about to say - or just said - on repeat, picking it apart, worrying about how it sounded, whether it was the right thing, whether you came off awkward, dull, or downright embarrassing.

You overthink. You freeze. You talk yourself out of saying what you want. And worst of all, your confidence takes a hit - every single time.

Sound familiar?

You’re not alone. Overthinking every word you say is a trap that keeps brilliant women small, stuck, and silent. But here’s the truth: it doesn’t have to be this way. You can break free from the cycle and start speaking with boldness, clarity, and ease.

Here’s how.

Why we Overthink our Words

Before we jump into the “fix,” it helps to understand the why. Why does our brain get caught up in this spiral of second-guessing and self-censoring?

Fear of Judgment or Rejection
We want to be liked, respected, or taken seriously. So when we speak, our brain goes into “damage control mode,” scanning for any signs that we might mess up or be criticised. This causes us to over-analyse every word.
Perfectionism
You want to be perfect — or at least sound perfect. You edit and re-edit your words, hoping for the flawless delivery that will impress everyone.
Low Confidence in Speaking Skills
If you don’t fully trust your voice or feel you’re “not good at speaking,” your brain defaults to caution and overthinking.
Past Negative Experiences
Maybe you once stumbled on a word or were misunderstood, and your brain now warns you to be extra careful.
The Inner Critic
That relentless voice in your head that loves to nit-pick and amplify insecurities. Especially at 3am.

How Overthinking Holds you Back

Here’s the thing: overthinking kills momentum. It makes you hesitant, cautious, and less authentic. Instead of sounding you, you sound rehearsed, robotic, or worse: like you’re trying too hard.

In fact, overthinking:

Drains your energy;
Makes conversations exhausting;
Lowers your confidence over time;
Blocks opportunities because you avoid speaking up;
Creates stress and anxiety around communication.

Breaking the habit isn’t just about “talking better” — it’s about reclaiming your power to show up fully in any situation.

5 Steps to Stop Overthinking Every Word You Say

1. Shift Your Mindset: Speak to Connect, Not to Impress
Most of us get trapped in “performance mode,” thinking every word must be perfect to earn approval or respect. Flip the script: Your goal is to connect, not impress.
When you speak to connect, your focus shifts from self-judgment to curiosity about the other person or the message you want to share. This creates space for spontaneity, authenticity, and ease.

Try this exercise next time you’re nervous:
Ask yourself — What do I want this person to feel or understand?
Then speak from that intention, not from fear.

2. Embrace Imperfection as your Superpower
Perfection is a myth. The most memorable speakers, leaders, and communicators aren’t flawless - they’re real. They embrace slips, pauses, and even mistakes because it makes them relatable and human.

Next time you catch yourself editing mentally, pause and say, It’s okay to be imperfect. You’re showing up as a real human being, and that’s what people want.

3. Practise Voice & Breath Anchors to Ground Yourself
Overthinking often spikes when your nervous system is hijacked: your breath gets shallow, your heart races, and your mind spins faster. Grounding yourself physically can calm this loop.

Take a deep, slow breath before you speak;
Anchor your feet firmly on the ground;
Open your throat and relax your jaw;
Practice simple vocal exercises to connect with your natural voice.

These techniques slow down your system, ease anxiety, and help you speak from a place of calm confidence.

4. Use Short, Clear Statements - then Pause
When you feel overwhelmed, simplify your message. Use short sentences or bullet-point style thoughts. This takes the pressure off crafting long, “perfect” paragraphs on the fly.

And here’s the magic: PAUSE. After you say something, pause to breathe and observe. Pausing feels awkward at first, but it gives your brain space to catch up and shows confidence.

5. Build Speaking Confidence with Small Wins
Confidence is a muscle - it grows with practise and success. Set yourself up for small wins every day:

Speak up once in a meeting;
Record a 30-second video sharing your thoughts;
Have a short conversation with a stranger or colleague;
Practise your message in front of a mirror.

Each win rewires your brain to trust your voice and decreases overthinking.

Bonus: How to Handle the Inner Critic
That voice in your head that says “What if I sound stupid?” or “I messed up!” - it’s loud, but it’s not the truth.

Try this:

Name your inner critic (“The Editor,” “The Perfectionist”);
Respond out loud with kindness, e.g., “Thanks for the input, but I’m okay to speak as I am”;
Re-focus on your message, not your fears.

Over time, this practice shrinks the critic’s power and grows your own voice’s authority.

Remember: Your Voice is a Weapon of Resilience
You have the right to be heard - not just when you feel perfect, but exactly as you are. Your voice carries your unique story, your power, and your impact. It’s a tool to show up for yourself and others - to shake things up and move forward, even when it feels scary.

Overthinking every word doesn’t protect you, it cages you. Break free, speak boldly, and watch your world change.

Ready to Show Up & Shake Sh*t Up™?
If you’re done hiding behind overthinking and ready to own your voice - whether in your business, career, or life - I’ve got your back.

Join my Show Up & Shake Sh*t Up™ community, where we build fierce confidence, authentic presence, and unstoppable voice power together.

Because brilliant women like you don’t just survive - you thrive.

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